Speak Out Loud (trigger warning: rape and abuse survivors)

I want your touch
Yet I cannot bear it
Betrayal is bitter
And love runs cold

You smile at me
And my heart warms
Then remembers
A stone hard shell

My own love
Opened up to you
All those years
What did they mean?

The deepest wound
Yet you deny
It can’t be healed
By lies

To fear a lover
Daring not to speak
But lie there silent
Desecrate

Twisted tarnished
An act of love
Made hate
In the deepest way

Never the same again
That moment
In my mind
Your face

Your rage
As you lay on me
Unprotected
In every sense

Feeling dead
Tears choked back
My body
Not my own

Like a dog
Your territory marked
Then with disdain
Cast me aside

Yet still you think
I have a problem
A frigid distance
Why so cold?

I could not call it
By its name
For many years
Still cannot speak
Out loud

© Janey Colbourne 2016

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3 thoughts on “Speak Out Loud (trigger warning: rape and abuse survivors)

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