To The Dominator

As long as you see life as a battle for control then that’s what it will be. How you perceive reality is what you create in your life. In your struggle for power you miss out on the true power you could have; to utterly transform your reality, your experience and your relationships through changing your perception. What if you could begin by supposing that not everyone spends their lives locked in a power battle just because you do? When your behaviour is influenced by the basic assumption that everyone is domineering you, then you become the dominator to protect yourself, but this creates hostility, as the person senses and resists your attempts to control them. This then becomes the power battle you anticipated, but it was your anticipation that created it. You may have had an early life experience of a dominator. You may have been really hurt, which makes it hard to let go of that mistrust; your defences are always up. Not everyone is like that and in trying to protect yourself unnecessarily, in being constantly on high alert, you damage yourself and those around you, passing on the pain down the generations. Conflict is all around you and you cannot see why. The longer this goes on, the more those self-created experiences compound your negative beliefs. If only you could step outside yourself for a moment and see through another’s eyes. The heartbreaking paradox is that you cannot trust enough, cannot let go enough, to hear anyone tell you this. You only see these words as another attempt to control you, rather than to free you. Only you can free yourself, and only when you are ready will you be able to understand these words for their true significance. The message is here, it has been here all along, waiting for you. At first it takes courage, more courage than it takes to keep on fighting. But you do have a choice, there is always a choice. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice to learn a new way of living, but once you begin, you life starts to change and that will carry you. See the power you truly have, the power from within. It’s your choice.

© Janey Colbourne 2016

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