There are times when I glimpse what it must be like not to be so sensitive. In the few days after surgery, when I was drugged up to the eyeballs, I was amazed I didn’t need to wear my pyjamas inside out as usual. I could lie on the seams and be comfortable. Wow…so this is what other people feel like. How relaxing.
My sense of smell is so intense I could throw up at the smell of your washing powder, and please, please don’t spray that air freshener, I am choking. My emotions are so intense it has taken me half a lifetime to learn to manage them. It’s exhausting.
But to be truthful, there are benefits to being highly sensitive. That sense of smell knows precisely when a banana is just the right amount of ripe to open (I’m fussy). I can distinguish colour variations to the highest degree. I have strong empathy. It is my sensitivity that makes me a musician, a poet, a philosopher, a therapist, a photographer. It enhances my creativity.
My sensitivity lifts the veil, the illusion of separateness, of isolation. It connects me to all life on earth, while simultaneously meandering through the deep pathways of my own mind. My sensitivity perceives and predicts my body’s state of health down to the cellular level.
It has saved my life.
To be truthful, I can live with inside out pyjamas.
© Janey Colbourne 2015