Hyperfocus

I’ve been considering recently my tendency for “overthinking”. Generally I consider my ability for hyperfocus and attention to detail to be one of my talents. However I have to watch out for when it becomes aimless, pointless, unproductive obsessing. I become stuck on a loop going nowhere. I can’t pull away, although I’m irritated by it. It’s compulsive; scrolling through Facebook, or conducting an in depth analysis of the price of folding chairs. Obsessing about a decision to the extent that I’m paralysed by choices. It’s so easy to lose hours of my life. The difference in quality is striking compared to when I’m driven to learn or to create. Words write themselves, streaming out faster than I can get them down. I have to jump on the train while it’s moving and can’t stop until it’s complete. Or I spend hours studying and researching something to understand it so deeply I’m inside it. It’s not the extent of thought and focus that’s the issue, but the purpose and meaning that makes the difference.

Raw motivation fluttering free
Scrabbling around for identity
Looking for a hook, sinking into line
Looking for a meaning that’s truly mine

Words drift around with Brownian motion
Flounder like small fry in the ocean
Darting like tadpoles frying my brain
Got to get it down or go insane

© Janey Colbourne 2015

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2 thoughts on “Hyperfocus

  1. Reading your first paragraph about obsessing and wasting countless hours on something silly like prices of things only to end up buying nothing made me cry. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that. I’m currently sitting here writing this while rocking back and forth. I love the poem. Sometimes I feel like that all the time. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

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